It’s been almost 9 months since I last posted anything to my
blog. To some it may seem that I have been neglecting this transcript of my
life, but to them I say, its been more of a period of writers block. I have
tried on numerous occasions over the past 3-4 months to sit down and update my
blog, but to no avail. Generally, when the blog bug bites, something has
changed in my life; I have engaged in some experience that brought a new revelation
to my world, or I am aware of the need for such an experience to move me; but
the past few months have been pretty steady
So a quick update on what is going on in my life. Well, I am
almost done with my second year of teaching and my final year in the Teach for
America Program. I have finally arrived at a place in my life where I can say
teaching is definitely not my passion, but it is a worthwhile profession. I absolutely
love my kids and I plan to stay in the classroom one more year (God approving),
so that I can see the first class graduate. Although I am much more comfortable
in the classroom, teaching is still indubitably the hardest thing I have ever
been tasked to do in my 24 years on this planet. People continuously ask me, “If
you don’t really like teaching, and you are done with TFA why are you planning
to stay in the classroom for another year?” My response, “It’s generally in the
hard places in life where character is built and refined.” And that is most definitely
true for me in my life right now.
In my opinion, being a classroom teacher is something God
wanted me to do so I could have a crash course lesson in leadership and people
managing. Each day 163 different people come into my classroom, each with their
own personality, expectations, needs, challenges, and successes. As a teacher I
believe it is my duty to know, work through, and celebrate each of these
aspects with every child, as needed. It is a big and impossible task, but it’s what’s
necessary.
I wish I could begin to describe the things I have learned
from my students over the past 2 years. Without a doubt, because of them I am a
better person; more loving, more understanding, and more in touch with popular
culture. For children so young, the majority of them have been through so much
and I know, if their experiences are utilized correctly, they can change
the world. My students push through the death of parents, the incarceration of
family members, the loss of homes, murder of siblings and cousins, being told
they are nothing/ never will be anything, hungry nights, cold nights, no way
home, no way to school, parents with depression, gang violence, being molested,
having no money, being hungry, drug infested streets, drug dealers living in
their homes, no water at home, no clean clothes, and the list goes on and on. Daily,
my students live out traumatic experiences without anyone to help them learn to
cope healthily and without any guidance on how to turn their hardship into
victory. God intentionally placed me at my school. Other people in TFA have
expressed that they have had a drastically different experience. Their schools
are well funded. Their students can read, and well. Their parents are involved.
They have band, and football, and computers, and working internet, and enough
teachers, and classes of no more than 20, and start and 8 and get out at 2, and
have counselors, and have guidance deans, and the list goes on; but God knew
what I needed to see and experience to be effective in what He is preparing for
me in my future.
From teaching I have developed phenomenal leadership skills.
I am learning how to deal with people of all ages and backgrounds in conflict
resolution. I have gained cultural competency skills, as even though I am
African American like 98 percent of my students, we come from two vastly
different cultures. I have learned how to let things go and not hold a grudge.
I have learned how to go with the flow and not need to stick to a schedule to
reach a goal. I have learned how to innovate and create from almost nothing. I have
learned how to keep a crowd engaged. I have learned how to motivate others. I
have learned how to encourage and how to rebuke in love. I have learned what it
truly means to consider others better than myself.
There is no other profession I can imagine that could have
equipped me with all of these skills in such an effective way in so little time.
There is no way God cannot be planning something major in my life. I see so
clearly how He has led me through the furnace to be refined for a moment such
as this. Although it hurt, I came out gold and I know that as long as I am obedient,
my light will shine and his glory will be made known. There is no greater
desire.
